Fear

The other day I was reading Nadja Notariani's ROW 80 Check-in and she threw out a simple question which really struck a cord with me - 'What is your biggest apprehension in the writing/publishing process?'

My immediate answer which I actually spoke a loud was EVERYTHING.

Absolutely everything about this process terrifies me. Let me list some of my fears off the top of my head.

1) What if the plot is awful?
2) Are my characters wooden/unlikeable/annoying?
3) Will my dialogue make people cringe?
4) My grammar is appalling.
5) I will never finish my WIP.
6) I am going about this whole writing thing the wrong way.
7) If I finish my WIP no one will want to read it.
8) If they do read it they will hate it.

I don't think I am alone in having 'am I any good at writing/is there any point in trying?' thoughts. Surely it is natural to have these worries as we as writers are pouring out part of ourselves into every sentence we write. Our stories are our babies and sending them out in to the world is terrifying. When I have these thoughts I take a deep breath and reassure myself that I am doing something I always wanted to do. If it comes to nothing, at least I will have tried it. At least I (and you guys!) will know I tried and that is better than never attempting to fulfil a dream.

 

Even if my writing comes to nothing and is simply something I do for me I will have gained so much. I will have gained a sense of achievement. I will gained a way to switch off from my day job that lets me express myself. Most importantly I will have gained new friends from all over the world. Friends who support me and encourage me, who make me laugh and make my well up with their kindness (yep, I'm a crier!). Friends who understand me and I think that is pretty amazing.

 

So from now on I am not going to focus on the fear. I am going to focus on writing, fun and the people I am meeting in this crazy writing/blogging world. What will be will be.

 

You can see Nadja's blog with the question that sent me off into a spiral of contemplation here - http://nadjanotariani.blogspot.com/

Also, Nadja's debut novel 'Claiming the Prize' was released yesterday and on her blog there is a coupon so you can buy it FREE this weekend at Smashwords! Go get it! I have and I look forward to reading it!

ROW 80 Check-in 31st August

A simple but effective three days since last check-in. Plan was to add words to my WIP with my mini-goal of reaching 30,000 words before I return to work on Friday.

Now for the word counts.

Monday - 2269 (an hour and a half of writing)

Tuesday - 828 (50 minutes of writing)

Wednesday - 1215 (57 minutes of writing)

So that is 4312 words in three days! So my WIP wordcount is 28,206 words which means today/tomorrow I need to write 1794 words which seems achievable I hope.

I have also done a walk instead of drive journey so that is one exercise done this week.

Hope everyone has had successful weeks! I am off to work on my non check-in post for this week.

3 weeks to go!!!

Row 80 Check-in 28th August

This week all goals met! Yay!

Last week I failed on my exercise goal but I have been to aqua aerobics and have walked to and from two places I would usually drive to so I am going to count them as exercise. Feels good to be moving my body so going to try and keep this up.

On Thursday I wrote for 55 minutes and hammered out 1,242 words. I wanted to do extra on the Thursday as on the Friday it was my Dad's 60th and we had a big family day planned. I managed another 40 minutes and wrote 853 words. Again the Write Anything prompt could fit in my WIP so I used it as part of a scene. This made a total word count of 2095 words that day which is my highest EVER! It did make me think at the rate I seem to write when November comes and I am aiming for 1,666 words a day for NaNo I will need to find atleast an hour if not an hour and a half each day. It is going to be tough! But I am so excited to give it a go!

On Saturday I wrote for 45 minutes and managed 845 words and today I wrote for 30 minutes and wrote 825 words. I also spent 5 minutes jotting down future plot plans as I have had lots of moments when I think of something I want to happen but with all the ideas bouncing around my head I was worried I would lose one.

So quick calculation and my WIP word count is 23, 894!! I have set myself a mini-goal of getting to 30,000 words before I start back to work on Friday. It is a bit of a steep goal but I hope to do it. 6106 words in just over 4 days...seems like a lot when I write it like that!

Plan moving forward is still to add words to my WIP and also to make a list of all the ideas I have for non check-in blog posts. I really enjoyed writing last weeks post 'Do you remember your first lines?' and thank you to everyone who commented. Not sure what this weeks will be about.

With 4 weeks left of this round of ROW 80 I hope to just keep adding words to my WIP. Knowing that for November I will be putting it to one side to start a NaNo story motivates me to write as much as I can before then.

I hope everyone has had brilliant weeks and I am looking forward to reading some check-ins!

Do you remember your first lines?

I am hopeless at remembering quotes and first lines from books. The only first line I half remember is "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." From Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Even though I struggle to remember them I know first lines are paramount. I am guilty of opening a book in a shop, reading the first line and putting the book back. It is important that you get it right else people might not read on. First lines can suck you in or turn you off a book.

Even though I am writing my WIP and have decided to go back and edit it once the first draft is finished I am on the look out for a dazzling first line (and a title but that is a different post!). I know off the top of my head that first lines are meant to grab you, interest you, make you curious to know more. They can set the scene, throw you straight into the story or in some cases shock you. I know I like being shocked by a first line.

I stood in front of my book shelves and picked up some books I know I really enjoyed reading. I looked at the first lines of these books to help me understand what draws me in as a reader. Below I have quoted them (often quoted the first paragraph) and offered a comment on why I like them.

The Lighthouse by PD James
"Commander Adam Dalgliesh was not unused to being urgently summoned to non-scheduled meetings with unspecified people at inconvenient times, but usually with one purpose in common: he could be confident that somewhere there lay a dead body awaiting his attention."

I like a murder mystery. Straight away this tells me that there is going to be a body and also shows me that a first line doesn't have to be short and snappy to grab my attention.

Watermelon by Marian Keyes
"February the fifteenth is a very special day for me. It is the day I gave birth to my first child. It is also the day my husband left me. As he was present at the birth I can only assume the two events weren't entirely unrelated."

The first line makes me want to know why the date is special but it is the following paragraph that shocked me slightly (that someone would leave someone the day they gave birth to your baby) and sucked me in. This and the following quote from The Help show me that actually the first paragraph is possibly as important as the first line. If your first line is short and snappy but your first paragraph doesn't back it up, you still might lose me as a reader.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett
"Mae Mobley was born on a early Sunday morning in August, 1960. A church baby we like to call it. Taking care a white babies, that's what I do, along with all the cooking and the cleaning. I done raised seventeen kids in my lifetime. I know how to get them babies to sleep, stop crying, and go in the toilet bowl before they mamas even get out a bed in the morning."

The last quote is simple but it intrigued me. I wanted to know that 'harami' means so it made me read on.

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
"Mariam was five years old the first time she heard the word harami."

After looking at actual books I did what I always do. I googled 'first lines in novels'. I uncovered articles devoted to discussing first lines and also lists of the 100 best first lines from novels.

This is a link to one of the lists of 100 best first lines from novels.
http://www.pantagraph.com/news/article_a125216a-649f-5414-88b5-76a688ea3b6a.html
Some of the decisions I agree with, some first lines I don't rate that much but maybe if I could read the first paragraph I would.

I like this quote from one of the articles.
"Introducing a story to a reader is a lot like dropping a pickup line on someone: do it the wrong way and they’ll wind up under the covers with a different… book."
http://www.shmoop.com/news/2010/07/13/best-opening-lines-literature/

After spending some time thinking about my first line I know that even though the first line is important, I need to back it up with a strong first paragraph. I am sure a first line will come to me in my editing stage (or maybe before) and I look forward to having a eureka moment at some point, hopefully in the near future!

This link offers another list of the 100 best opening lines and has nice pictures of book covers that you move your mouse over to see the first line.
http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/the-best-100-opening-lines-from-books
Above the list it mentions that it is often said that the first line often sells the book, the last line often sells the authors next book. Just something to mull over....

ROW 80 Check-in 24th August

Well week 8 is going well so far for me and I hope it continues!

On Monday I wrote for 40 minutes and wrote 1,093 words. I also officially signed up for NaNoWriMo this coming November! Now I am officially signed up I am getting really excited and I need to think about to my outline etc. I also was brave and emailed Nicole at http://universecityblog.wordpress.com/  as she asked for volunteers to write a guest post about writing. Even though I was worried about my lack of experience it seemed like a really good opportunity so I am excited to get started on that....once I decide what to write about!

On Tuesday I wrote for 40 minutes in the morning and managed 843 words and later that day I managed to squeeze in another 15 minutes and wrote 316 words so my word count for Tuesday was 1,159.

This morning I wrote for 50 minutes and managed 956 words which takes my word count to 20,129! Champagne all around! It feels good to have broken the 20,000 word barrier. I guess I am aiming for 80,000 words so maybe I am a quarter of the way through? I do worry that I am further through my story than I should be at 20,000 words but I know I need to do A LOT of editing and adding in of descriptions etc. when I revise my first draft. But for now I will keep on writing.

I have enjoyed my writing this week as I have been writing some 'fun' scenes. I had written several emotional scenes recently and I think I was losing sight of the type of book I was trying to write. Yes I want there to be emotion but I want there to be fun scenes that help you visualise and understand the characters.

I plan to post my non check-in post tomorrow. I think it is going to be about first/opening lines as I keep thinking about this lately. Mainly because I don't think I have a good enough first line. In fact, I know I don't!

Off to check out some check-ins!

Sidebar - I am starting to think about when I return to work next Friday. I have lovely long summer breaks (this one has been 5 and a half weeks...don't hate me) and I have been able to push myself to write over a 1,000 words most days but what will happen when I am back at work? NaNo requires 1,666 words a day. This is definately going to be a tall order but I am hoping that because I will not have so much time to write I will be more productive when I can write. My logic may be warped but for now it is the logic I am sticking by.

ROW 80 Check-in 21st August

The 80 days seem to be flying by and I feel like I have had a really productive and exciting end to my writing week.

On Thursday I wrote for 40 minutes and wrote 1,214 words. I also posted my NaNoWriMo follow up and thank you everyone for your comments. I am starting to feel more excited then scared now (fun not fear!) and am glad I have made the commitment on here so I am accountable. Looking forward to planning out my next WIP (new notebook, check!) but for the next few weeks I am still going to focus on my current WIP.

On Friday I wrote for 40 minutes and wrote 1,201 words. I used the Write Anything prompt and it gave me a good idea for a scene in my WIP so I am going to count this in my WIP word count.

On Saturday I had a day off from writing. My boyfriend was here (we live 5 hours apart so time together is precious) and I wanted to spend the time with him. I did come out of my writing closet and tell him about my blog, writing, ROW 80 and my plans to do NaNo. This was a big step for me and he reacted perfectly. He knows I have talked loosely about writing and said it was good I am doing something about it. I was worried he would be upset that I hadn't told him for the two months I have been blogging (probably me projecting how I think I would react if he told me something similiar!) and said he understood if you tell people there is pressure. I feel great no I have told him and have his support and know if I am with him and need to write he will understand.

Today I wrote for 30 mins and managed 907 words. My WIP is now up to 16,921 words!

I definately hit my 30 mins a day (3 and a half hours a week) and exceeded this goal. I used the Write Anything prompt and posted 3 times (once this is posted). The only goal that I completely failed on was the exercising two times. I wasn't feeling well during the week so plans to swim went out of the window and whilst I did a little bit of walking I don't know if I am going to count it. So need to do better on this next week.

Off to check out some check-ins. Can't believe next week is week 8!

NaNo - She who dares may hopefully win!

Last week I posted about NaNoWriMo as I am thinking about taking part this year. I listed my concerns and the reasons I wanted to take part and had some really reassuring comments back. You can see the original post and comments here - http://lovestoreadwantstowrite.blogspot.com/2011/08/nanowrimo-dare-i-try-it.html

I have given it a lot of thought and I am 99.9% sure I am going to take part. There, I have said it. Ok, I haven't said I am 100% sure, I have left a little room to back out but I don't think I will. I found it helpful that others said they shared the same concerns and also that they might be give it a try this year.

I guess I had been seeing NaNo as something that would be separate from ROW 80 which seems crazy now and I am sure having a specific NaNo related ROW 80 goal for November as newtowritinggirl suggested in her comment would work well. I am still freaked about the daily required word count (thanks to newtowritinggirl for pointing out it is 1,666 words a day rather than 1,612...how did I get that wrong?!) but I figure I have some time to build up my writing 'stamina' before November.

I have also been considering how to fit in planning my NaNo story as I will need something to go from on the 1st of November but I figure there is room to add this into my ROW 80 goals and work on it between rounds 3 and 4. My biggest fear is not finishing and taking a confidence knock but as newtowritinggirl pointed out, any day that I manage 1,666 words is 1,666 words more than I may have written otherwise. See her recent post about NaNo here http://newtowritinggirl.wordpress.com/ I also have the added motivation to keep going on my current WIP so I get as much written down as possible before November.

Ok, I am going to say it, I am 100% going to do NaNoWriMo this year. Please say you will join me? Kat? Jamila? Lauren? newtowritinggirl? Anyone? Don't leave me out here on a limb!

I wrote this post yesterday in preparation to post today. Overnight I kept thinking about it, swinging between not posting and hiding fom the whole NaNo thing and posting and just giving it a go. I have decided to post this and give it a go. At best I will complete it, at worst I will do some writing on a new project. I might as well give it a go.